1.5- Moving Forward

So much in my life had been dramatically changed this year, I had a new life, I had loved and lost and now I was going to be a mother. As a writer I couldn’t pass up this inspiration so I got to writing my second book. Being pregnant I was easily tired, but I found writing relaxing so I could write for hours on end, with breaks to nibble of course. I was really just counting the days until I gave birth.

Early one night before I could jump into the shower, my water broke. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I would be raising this child alone, with no help, no family, no one. I would be fully responsible for raising this kid, and it scared the life out of me.

I called myself up a cab. The ride there seemed to take forever. My painful shrieks near the end would of scared the driver, it seemed they started to speed up just to get rid of me.

At 4:15 that next morning I left the hospital with my bouncing baby boy! I called him Fennel. He randomly gained the traits Brave and Disciplined. At least I know he would do as he was told, but hopefully his braveness wouldn’t land him into any trouble. I was already a worrying mother.

He was truly a ……. special boy. Who would of known he would have well resembled his father. Honestly more than I could handle. I would have to look deeply into how I could help my innocent boy, before he was no longer so innocent.

The following week I was unsure what to do about Fennel. I didn’t have much time to research his condition. I was busy feeding him constantly trying to keep on top of my house work and continue with my novel. It was hard balancing things as a mother, glad I didn’t have quads!

I was finally feeling comfortable in introducing Fennel to someone. I called up my friend Blair Wainwright, we met briefly when I first visited Sunset Valley but became close friends constantly emailing. Plus she been bugging me non-stop to meet my son. After she agreed to come over for a late lunch I went and threw on my everyday clothes and did a quick once over of the house as per usual.

After greeting her and inviting her inside I went and picked up Fennel from his crib. Blair just stared at him inquisitively. I knew she was too polite just to come out and say what was on her mind, so I did it for her.
“Yes, my son is a vampire, a half blood in fact and if you have a problem with this it is probably best if you just leave. He is my son and I will not expose him to people who cannot accept him. He didn’t choose this for himself, it just happened.”

“Chives, he is beautiful really, I am sorry for staring I just have never uhm actually seen a vampire baby before. It is just strange and took me for surprise that’s all. I understand you being cautious but I won’t hurt him. But you can’t protect him from everyone, there are people who won’t understand.”

Sitting down to our burnt Macaroni and Cheese we spent hours talking, Blair even helped me with what I should do for Fennel. We both decided that I should really look online and in the library to see what I could find on his condition. It was a long tiring talk, but it really made me think about my sons future.

It doesn’t feel like my baby stayed my baby for long. He is already so big. I love my son, he means the utter world to me but now that he isn’t so fragile it may be good to get him out and about. Although it is obvious he is a vampire he hasn’t so to speak shown anything un-baby like up to this point.

Okay, today I saw something that made my stomach lurch. My boy was playing innocently with his toy until he went straight for its neck. I had no idea what to do. It didn’t last long but my god did I feel sick. What if one day he went for another child’s neck! or even mine..

I decided to take Fennel down to the festival which was in town for the week. Hopefully he would stay associating people as friends not as food. It was a nice day out, the sun was shining but due to it being autumn the air was a bit fresh. It was nice being out and about together.

I knew sooner or later I would have to face Simis. I was hoping later rather than sooner. But I had been moving on with my life quite happily lately with out him. We saw each other from a distance, I had hoped he wouldn’t come up to me. But he did. He looked puzzled at  our son  my son. I unleashed my inner rage at him.
“How dare you have the nerve to come up to me. You made it clear you wanted nothing to do with me. WITH US. You don’t get the choice to just suddenly change your mind and think you can be apart of this anymore. Leave us alone.”

If I am truly honest with you, he genuinely looked hurt. But that hurt turned into rage.
“REALLY, is that what you think? You think I would turn my back on you? Let alone if I even knew you were pregnant. FINE if that’s what you think. Goodbye.”

I was taken back by his words.

I sat down with my son. Maybe I had been given the wrong end of the stick. It was too late to think about that now, it isn’t like he made any effort to contact with me.
I gazed into my sons eyes, at least he seemed happy. It means I was doing something right with my life. And that is all that matters to me anymore.

Later that day I met a sweet man. Stiles McGraw. We took a liking to each other rather fast. I enjoyed having a conversation with someone rather than Blair and Fennel, if you can even called what me and Fennel have a conversation.

We were talking until it was dark. Stiles even surprised me by being an utter gentleman, he offered me and my son a ride home instead of having to wait for a cab to get home.

Finally when home I spent a little more time with my little sunsine. He sure did know how to place a smile on my dial. Reflecting on it all though maybe just maybe life was looking up. At least for awhile anyway. I felt like I finally had a little closure with Simis, I don’t know how but it felt like I did. I could finally move forward in my life.