University Life

Today I brought University Life! So now I am working out how to incorporate it into the story line so far, I need to decide soon as I’ve played it to Fennel being a teen.
My game play is also on a halt since my brother is currently fixing my computer as my step-father deleted windows.. Genius I know.
Anyway next post is almost out guys xx

1.7- Army of men; Snowmen

All it ever seems to do is snow here. School I guess you could say is better, they don’t pick on me anymore, instead they all avoid me. Parents last week insisted to the bus company that they did not feel safe having their children on the bus with me. So here I am on the bus alone. The perk of it is I always get a seat, I don’t have to watch for flying objects, it isn’t all that bad.
 

Stiles has been coming around the house again. We haven’t spoken about that morning when he ran out my house. I figure he is embarrassed about it so I don’t want to bring it up. It has been nice seeing him again, I missed talking to him those couple of days.

I thought it was getting better between us, but still every time I touch him he has this look upon him. I’m hoping we would move past this and not be strangers to each others bodies. He is acting like we are back in high school and it is his first time. Maybe it is his first time, he hasn’t spoken of any children or even past lovers before, so it could be all possible.

But him continually flinching away from me got the  best of my short temper. I wanted. I needed him to let me in, I needed him to open up to me and help me understand. It wasn’t so much the fact I was getting any, it was he genuinely was hurting my feelings.

What is WRONG with you! NO what is so wrong with ME?! Am I not good enough, clearly not otherwise every time I threw myself at you Stiles, you’d accept. You have to tell me why or get out.

Stiles looked angry at me, I can not understand why, what did I do so wrong?

You wouldn’t understand. NO one will ever understand. Why is sex so important anyway, it shouldn’t be. 

Well no, clearly I am not going to understand unless you give me some idea of what is going on. If we do it doesn’t mean we are too deep in the relationship if that is what is wrong?

No that’s not why.

Looks like I am going to be forced to guess until he responds.

Is it because I have a son? Because it’s your first time? You are afraid? Don’t want to be with me? 

And like a broken record he continued to shake his head back and forth and with it I was running out of ideas why.

Are you gay or something, my god man-why do you not want anything to do with me?

Check, what I had said struck a nerve, a very sensitive one in fact. Stiles broke down. After all this time, he was gay! Why didn’t he tell me?

How could you! How dare you lead me on all this time when you KNEW you were like this… Were you bored that’s why, stringing me on for your own amusement. This isn’t a game. Did you have no thought to my feelings. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. NOW. Don’t contact me ever. EVER. again.

And like that he turned to the door and left. Not a single word. No reply or explanation. Stiles walked out that door and out my life. I swear I will never try with a man again. Love was just not meant for me.

That night Fennel and I had spent time together it was nice.

Mum was distant more than ever tonight. I feel like she hasn’t noticed me struggling; shes caught up in her own world.

That night

I awoke the next morning early to go for a skate with my instructor  he agreed to teach me for free in spots where he had no bookings and if, and only if, I cleaned down his set of boards each time. It was a fair bargain  But I awoke to a massacre, a massacre of my men, my beautiful army of snowmen. 

I bet it was the kids from school.

I spent my day talking to the person who promised he could help my son. Oh I also made Fennel some soup for dinner and post phoned the deadline for my book. I don’t feel like doing much for awhile.

I tucked Fennel into bed that night and promised him everything would be alright.

Hi everyone,
Hope you enjoyed this post! I am sorry it took so long for me to get out. There is really good or interesting excuse why I have posted But the next one shouldn’t take as long to post as I am returning to school and will be back in the routine of posting 🙂 Let me know what you think of the Jardin family so far!

Much love, MK

1.6- The Search Begins

Since that day I met Stiles at the park I haven’t seen much of him. But today I invited him over for a catch up, it was a cute little dinner date I had planned.

When Stiles finally arrived it was dusk, it would be getting dark soon. With winter fast approaching the days began to get shorter much to my dismay. He had changed since then, but not as much as Simis did that time.

I wasn’t a fantastic cook, writing was my forte after all. But Stiles seemed enthusiastic. It was amusing seeing the colour leave his face as he took the first spoon full.

During my mothers date, I finally had grown up! I just wish mum could of noticed though. I often feel alone, but times like this, I feel even more so. At least she managed to buy some second hand clothes, otherwise not to sure what I would be wearing right now…

The next morning I awoke to Stiles still here. It was early morning when we finally decided to go to bed. He was such a gentleman and decided to sleep on the couch.
“Gooood morning” I tried to use my seductive voice. But if I am completely honest I probably sounded more like a cow. Before Stiles could even reply I heard Fennel rush out the door. He grew up with out me noticing. I made a mental note to apologise tonight and make it up to him.

As Stiles and I got “closer” so did my desire to go to the next level. All I wanted was him. Right now. In my bed. It had been a long time. Fennel was a child now. It had been too long of a time. I tried pulling Stiles towards me. He wasn’t budging. So I moved towards him, leaving no space between us. “Lets take this to my bedroom, it is much… warmer in there”

In less than 24 hours I witnessed the smile leave and colour been drained from his face. He retracted away from me at lightning speed. “Wha… whats wrong?” I stumbled. Could he really be rejecting me? Why did he stay over last night then if this was his intention to reject me?
“Look, that isn’t going to happen right now. I’m going to go.”

And just like that he grabbed his clothes, threw his jacket on and walked out my house.
So now my day consisted of cleaning the house, trying to work out what had just happened and to plan some surprise for my son. Oh and of course, more writing.

After a day of mockery and bullying I realised I would not be enjoying the next 10 years of my life at school. I was already hating it and it was only the first day. The thing I don’t get is, it wasn’t because I looked different, which I would get. But it was because I was smart. No, don’t mind the fact that I had a strange complexion, my eyes glowed and my teeth would easily rip out your jugular. Nope, it was because I was somewhat smarter then the rest of the kids there…
I went down to city hall after school, because it was winter the days were short and dark fast so I knew I would have to be home quick. But I was in search for answers. I wanted to know where my absentee father was. I wanted him to explain what I was to me. Mum tried many times, but clearly she didn’t understand the nitty gritty of it. The private investigator said he would take up my case due to pure interest of it, he’d contact me once he found something.

I started to worry when my son wasn’t home straight after school. It wasn’t that it was late, but it was getting dark and I hadn’t heard anything from him all day.  So I decided what would the harm to call him, I am his mother after all. I was in full panic mode after I had gone through three rings. What if something had happened to him? Maybe he was hurt laying in a ditch somewhere? Someone might have taken him!
“Hello?”
A wave of relief washed over me. He was alive.
“Fennel is that you? Where are you why aren’t you home? What took you so long to answer the phone?”
“Walking up the footpath..”
He then hung up. But three seconds later he was walking in the door.

We sat down on the couch together. It was time for me to apologise for missing his birthday and make up for it. “Fennel I am truly sorry for missing your birthday! I will never miss another one again I promise and for you next one we shall have a party” I smiled at him hoping he would forgive me and say something. But nothing he just sat there and nodded so I continued on. “I also have a surprise for you. I have gone online and booked a snow boarding lesson for you down at the park which well in fact starts in 15 minutes if you want to go?” Yep. He jumped off the couch and ran out the door. I’m guessing to the park, but at least he looked happy.

I was a natural at snowboarding the guy said. Something cliche’ I bet he said to all his students. But I felt like he actually meant what he said to me. Plus for the first time today I was actually feeling good about myself.

“I hear you are looking for a fix for you sons condition. I can help you…”

1.5- Moving Forward

So much in my life had been dramatically changed this year, I had a new life, I had loved and lost and now I was going to be a mother. As a writer I couldn’t pass up this inspiration so I got to writing my second book. Being pregnant I was easily tired, but I found writing relaxing so I could write for hours on end, with breaks to nibble of course. I was really just counting the days until I gave birth.

Early one night before I could jump into the shower, my water broke. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I would be raising this child alone, with no help, no family, no one. I would be fully responsible for raising this kid, and it scared the life out of me.

I called myself up a cab. The ride there seemed to take forever. My painful shrieks near the end would of scared the driver, it seemed they started to speed up just to get rid of me.

At 4:15 that next morning I left the hospital with my bouncing baby boy! I called him Fennel. He randomly gained the traits Brave and Disciplined. At least I know he would do as he was told, but hopefully his braveness wouldn’t land him into any trouble. I was already a worrying mother.

He was truly a ……. special boy. Who would of known he would have well resembled his father. Honestly more than I could handle. I would have to look deeply into how I could help my innocent boy, before he was no longer so innocent.

The following week I was unsure what to do about Fennel. I didn’t have much time to research his condition. I was busy feeding him constantly trying to keep on top of my house work and continue with my novel. It was hard balancing things as a mother, glad I didn’t have quads!

I was finally feeling comfortable in introducing Fennel to someone. I called up my friend Blair Wainwright, we met briefly when I first visited Sunset Valley but became close friends constantly emailing. Plus she been bugging me non-stop to meet my son. After she agreed to come over for a late lunch I went and threw on my everyday clothes and did a quick once over of the house as per usual.

After greeting her and inviting her inside I went and picked up Fennel from his crib. Blair just stared at him inquisitively. I knew she was too polite just to come out and say what was on her mind, so I did it for her.
“Yes, my son is a vampire, a half blood in fact and if you have a problem with this it is probably best if you just leave. He is my son and I will not expose him to people who cannot accept him. He didn’t choose this for himself, it just happened.”

“Chives, he is beautiful really, I am sorry for staring I just have never uhm actually seen a vampire baby before. It is just strange and took me for surprise that’s all. I understand you being cautious but I won’t hurt him. But you can’t protect him from everyone, there are people who won’t understand.”

Sitting down to our burnt Macaroni and Cheese we spent hours talking, Blair even helped me with what I should do for Fennel. We both decided that I should really look online and in the library to see what I could find on his condition. It was a long tiring talk, but it really made me think about my sons future.

It doesn’t feel like my baby stayed my baby for long. He is already so big. I love my son, he means the utter world to me but now that he isn’t so fragile it may be good to get him out and about. Although it is obvious he is a vampire he hasn’t so to speak shown anything un-baby like up to this point.

Okay, today I saw something that made my stomach lurch. My boy was playing innocently with his toy until he went straight for its neck. I had no idea what to do. It didn’t last long but my god did I feel sick. What if one day he went for another child’s neck! or even mine..

I decided to take Fennel down to the festival which was in town for the week. Hopefully he would stay associating people as friends not as food. It was a nice day out, the sun was shining but due to it being autumn the air was a bit fresh. It was nice being out and about together.

I knew sooner or later I would have to face Simis. I was hoping later rather than sooner. But I had been moving on with my life quite happily lately with out him. We saw each other from a distance, I had hoped he wouldn’t come up to me. But he did. He looked puzzled at  our son  my son. I unleashed my inner rage at him.
“How dare you have the nerve to come up to me. You made it clear you wanted nothing to do with me. WITH US. You don’t get the choice to just suddenly change your mind and think you can be apart of this anymore. Leave us alone.”

If I am truly honest with you, he genuinely looked hurt. But that hurt turned into rage.
“REALLY, is that what you think? You think I would turn my back on you? Let alone if I even knew you were pregnant. FINE if that’s what you think. Goodbye.”

I was taken back by his words.

I sat down with my son. Maybe I had been given the wrong end of the stick. It was too late to think about that now, it isn’t like he made any effort to contact with me.
I gazed into my sons eyes, at least he seemed happy. It means I was doing something right with my life. And that is all that matters to me anymore.

Later that day I met a sweet man. Stiles McGraw. We took a liking to each other rather fast. I enjoyed having a conversation with someone rather than Blair and Fennel, if you can even called what me and Fennel have a conversation.

We were talking until it was dark. Stiles even surprised me by being an utter gentleman, he offered me and my son a ride home instead of having to wait for a cab to get home.

Finally when home I spent a little more time with my little sunsine. He sure did know how to place a smile on my dial. Reflecting on it all though maybe just maybe life was looking up. At least for awhile anyway. I felt like I finally had a little closure with Simis, I don’t know how but it felt like I did. I could finally move forward in my life.

Chapter 1.4- You’ve been warned

As per usual life goes on. It was quite a shock to find that Simis hadn’t stayed that night but the next day he assured me he just had to get home and take care of a few things. Whatever that meant… Everything had been pretty chaotic lately, everything was breaking, everything was dirty, including me. I had never felt so all the place, ever since I passed through my beginning teenage years, but this week it was awkward pre-puberty me. My Bojungers hurt, my back ached, maybe it was a late growth spurt, who knew. Most my time was consumed with fixing this darn computer. Soon, soon I would make sure I had the perfect office. It was my goal, to have a perfect environment to do my writing in.

With winter coming fast around the corner I feared I had caught a viral bug. I had never felt so queasy before. I had a gut feeling that it would be a long and horrible day for me.

My gut was right my day just keep getting worse and worse. First this lady came, she took away some of my possessions to make up for one of my unpaid bills.

My day was not going to get better so I decided to stay home and catch up on washing. Too bad that even washing had its downfall, a part from the actual washing part. As I was putting the second load into the dryer once again I was sick. And then once again as I was getting ready for bed in my horrid stinky bathroom. I hoped this would go away soon otherwise I would have to make an appointment with a doctor.. I strongly dislike going to the doctors, it’s always so cold there.

At 3:00am I was rudely awaken by my belly, but at least that is when I realised I was fat.
Yes I was, but I was pregnant too.  I was so excited, I was having a baby with the love of my life. I couldn’t wait to be a family.

I’m not sure how I wanted to tell Simis about our baby, so I thought I would be romantic and write him a letter. This was mainly due to I never had asked him if he wanted a family. I only hope he did for mine and my babies sake. After it was done I handed it to my postwoman and had to go back inside and wait until Simis contacted me.

The next night as I deep in my novel I got a pop-up notification, I had received an email… It was from Simis…
Chives. Don’t contact me.
I am not interested in having a family with YOU.
I have my own. It was a fling get over it.

It is so blunt, I don’t know what to make of it. I thought he loved me! He said he loved me, how could he lie about something like that. What am I going to do now, I am alone, pretty much broke and now with a baby on the way. What am I going to do. 

In the morning I had a long hot shower. I decided I was going to keep my head held high, I was going to stay strong. As cliche’ as it sounds, I had to be strong for my baby. Because at the end of the day that is all that matters now. 

I headed down to the library, because lets face it I don’t know a thing about raising a baby! And I will be the first to admit but I am a bookworm.

Lets be honest here, I didn’t expect to see Simis’ sister here. I wonder if he told her about me, and my baby. I feel like I am a little girl starting school again, what will she say? Will she say something to me?

She came up to me, and what she said to me is defiantly not what I expected. She started accusing me of being a home wrecker  That I was tearing her family apart, and now being pregnant is an excuse to try and steal him from me. She wasn’t his sister, she was his wife!

I was furious at what she was saying to me. “HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME FOR BEING A HOME WRECKER. I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION YOU WERE HIS SISTER. HE DIDN’T SAY OR DO ANYTHING TO MAKE ME THINK OTHERWISE”.

“YEAH, if he LOVEEED you so much where is he now? HE made the decision to stay with ME and OUR FAMILY”.

Before she walked away she snarled something at me and the baby. I am shocked  at what just happened. The entire libraries eyes are on me. I have never felt so watched for awhile, really since last time I was here really.  It is probably best for me to leave to and go home, but I am frozen.

How could I have missed such a big thing?